#52 Vampires vs. Zombies 2004

Seems like everyone is vs'ing the zombies this week. At least if you go by the titles. This movie had vampires and the movie had zombies. But I did not see any vs'ing. Disappointed. I thought it would be like Underworld which was vampires vs werewolfs. Sadly no.

I would describe the plot, but I'm not really sure what happened. A guy and his daughter drive around a bit, running over zombies when they see them. There were flashbacks, dream sequences and some parts that might have been hallucinations. I think the daughter was really just infected by zombies and all of the vampire parts were hallucinations. Hell if I know.

4382m

#51 Wiseguys vs. Zombies 2003

I have seen worse. The acting wa's bad but at least it didn't sound scripted. The main character seemed to make it up a's he was going along, and he was mildly amusing at time's. According to IMDB the word "fuck" and it's derivative's are used 258 time's.

A drug dealer from Miami enlist's the aid of two wiseguy's from New York to retrieve some drug's and the people who stole them. Unfortunately the drug's are a military experiment to revive corpse's. Stuck in a hick southern town the zombie's get out of the trunk and turn the whole town.

4308m's

#50 Enter...Zombie King 2003

Finally a movie that really takes a good look at the zombie epidemic through the no-nonsense eyes of masked wrestlers. Did you know they sleep with their masks on?

The poet warrior Ulysses gathers his old wrestling friends to prevent the Zombie King and his henchman the Murdelizer from destroying everything we hold dear. The fate of the world determined in the squared circle.

After a string of bad bad movies I was glad to hit the big five-o with a good bad movie.

4196m = 69.93 hours = 2.91 days

#49 Zombie Night 2003

Pardon my French but this movie was merde. Most of the movies I've seen had at least one person who could act a little bit. Not a single person in this one was the least bit convincing which was not helped at all by the ridiculous dialog.

India and Pakistan start WWIII and the resulting atomic fallout makes zombies out of anyone exposed to it. As survivors start grouping together one of them turns on the rest and helps the zombies get them. Rat bastard!

4120m

#48 Zombie '90 1991

This was included on the Zombie Doom disc. Another ultra-gore German movie. I don't like these. None of it is particularly realistic, but can still be a little disturbing.

However there was one saving grace for this film. The voice overs. Rather than do an accurate translation, there were a lot of liberties taken. For example when the white German doctor, with a voice that sounds like it may have been done by a black man, asks the assistant to remove the patient from some equipment he says "Man, just turn off the machine, don't give me no guff." He also frequently complained about people bleeding in his car, which I doubt was in the original.

4029m

#47 Hot Wax Zombies on Wheels 1999

A 45% (not quite half) decent attempt at a zombie comedy. No gore or blood at all. There were a few mildly amusing moments and a bit of nudity.

When a new depilation salon opens in a small town the residents are skeptical. Once they receive the treatment they are turned into horny zombies with no "pesky body hair". Their one weakness is yew shavings.

3957m

#46 Zombie Chronicles 3D 2002

I did not have the right kind of 3D glasses for this one, not even the glasses from the 3D Spongebob ride in Toronto worked. Luckily the flip side of the disc had a 2D version. Another practically homemade movie. But this one actually had a storyline and wasn't all about the gore. Overall it wasn't horrible.

A journalist picks up a hitchhiker who tells her a few local ghost stories, which are really zombie stories. Turns out the hitchhiker was also a ghost. She then is eaten by zombies.

3869m

#45 Zombie Doom 1999

Once in a generation a movie comes along that is so spectacular, with a storyline so well written and acting beyond that of most critically acclaimed actors, that words simply fail to describe just how awesome the movie truly is. This is not that movie. This movie sucked. Sucked more than any movie I have ever seen. If you are really into cheap ass gore then you might enjoy it.

When three men in a disabled boat find their way to an island, they are surprised by a camp of vicious killers wearing metal masks. They are led by "The Meister" who is trying to create an army of zombie killers. The men are hunted along with one of the killers who failed his initiation ritual. Turns out he is a ninja and they meet up with two of his ninja pals. The ninjas go back for revenge and destroy all of the killers.

3795m

#44 Mulva, Zombie Ass Kicker 2000

Incredibly stupid but still kinda funny. A movie that doesn't skimp on the gravy. Another movie shot on tape by a bunch of people with nothing better to do. Mulva's dialog, along with her neighbor's, Mr. Bonejack, carries the movie.

Mulva goes trick-or-treating on Halloween and runs into a zombie horde. But they are easily defeated with the help of her neighbor Mr. Bonejack, a dog-faced boy who appears out of nowhere and a chick with a double headed plastic axe.

Dare I watch the sequel even though it is not zombie related?

3717m

#43 Night of the Living Dead 1990

One of the better zombie movies I have watched so far. I liked this one better than the original for a variety of reasons.

1. Color is better when dealing with zombies. To get the full impact of blood it needs to be red.
2. The ending was less hopeful to me. While the world is set right, it still shows the brutality of the living equaling that of the dead. Plus the real bad guy in the film gets what he deserves.
3. I have a crush on the lead actress. She was in Army of Darkness, and several scifi series too. But most importantly she greatly reminds me of Mary Stuart Masterson in Some Kind of Wonderful. These two women in these two films are not your average, everyday cuteness. They are...ADVANCED cuteness.

3658m

#42 I, Zombie: A Chronicle of Pain 1998

This was an interesting idea but it would have been better with more action.

A man is bitten by a zombie and then slowly keeps a record of his slow mental and physical slow deterioration slow. Did I mention the movie was slow? As he falls apart he tries to fix himself along the way. At first he does so by covering up with make-up, eventually fixing a broken leg by screwing metal strips to his leg.

One thing I learned is if your body is falling apart masturbating a lot might be a bad idea.

3566m

#41 Space Zombie Bingo 1993

Ughh!

I haven't finshed watching this but thought I go ahead and write about it anyway. I don't think watching the whole thing is really going to change my thoughts on it. Plus that way I can go to bed as soon as it is over.

The were trying to make a cheesy 50's comedy with 50's style special effects. The bad guys are evil zombie, robot aliens dressed in black clothes, welding masks, flippers and a headband with springy silver balls.

This is the first one that I really wanted to just stop watching. I cannot handle many more like this one.

3547m

#40 Plaga Zombie: Mutant Zone 1997

This is apparently the only zombie movie from Argentina. They should make more because this was pretty good. I knew I would like it when very early in the movie the computer nerd guy rips off a zombie's arm and uses it like nunchucks to fight other zombies. This was immediately followed by another zombie getting his entire spine pulled out of the back of its neck. Good gory ultraviolent funny fun.

An FBI sponsored alien virus causes a zombie infestation which a few survivors try to fight their way out of.

3472m

Zombie Movie Database

This is something I have been meaning to do since the beginning and finally got to it this weekend. I setup a database of all the zombie movies on my list and a some pages that let you sort the list in different, maybe interesting, ways. If I have watched a movie its title is linked to the blog entry. Eventually I'll be able to use it to track a lot of nerdy math data.

It isn't pretty yet, but who said zombies were pretty.

Zombie Movie Database